Jesus, Shame and Victory

So, I have come to a realisation that I am a shame driven individual. This is what causes me to experience so much fear, blame and disconnection.

I have also come to a realisation that rather than being set free from the past, God wants to transform me through it TO the present and the future (see my previous post). I do this by owning my story, not by running from it anymore.

In thinking about shame, and doing a LOT of reading, including some fabulous research by Dr. Brene Brown, I have come to realise that the 3 things mentioned above (fear, blame and disconnection) are a universal human condition. I am not alone (and there is some connection right there!!).

In Genesis, we see the story of Adam and Eve. No fear. No blame. Perfectly connected to God and to each other.

And then the apple.

Let’s look at the narrative:

Genesis 3: 6-13

⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

 ⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

 ¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

 ¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

 ¹² The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

 ¹³ Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

   The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Familiar words. We see shame in this passage. And we see the results of shame too: fear and disconnection (vs 10 – afraid, naked, hiding), and blame (Adam in vs 12 – he blames Eve, and Eve in vs 13 – she blames the serpent).

So right from the start, shame has been a part of the human condition. It’s something we all face, and we all respond in the same way. We feel fear, we blame others and we experience disconnection from God and each other. Adam and Eve didn’t own their story, and neither do we! (I).

Now, I believe that Jesus changes all of that. But how? That is a big question, and I don’t intend on a huge theological discussion right now. However, I think it’s important to share another thing that I have realised in the last couple of weeks that is linked to my understanding of owning my story and God transforming and freeing, rather than cutting off and freeing.

I have spent most of my Christian life thinking that, if my faith in Jesus is ‘good’ or ‘right’ or ‘enough’, I will no longer experience this excruciating shame that limits me so much. I will be free from it. Again, sounds right doesn’t it? Jesus sets me free from shame.

Well, he does. But look at the story of Jesus. In his ministry, he faces ridicule from the Pharisees, rejection from his townsfolk, false accusations from the Romans. He has to face shame throughout his ministry, culminating in the ultimate shame of being hung on a cross (the primary symbol of shame in his world at the time). Does Jesus get rid of shame?

I believe that, in the end, yes. But it seems like for now, he defeats shame by facing it head on. Rather than giving in to fear, rather than blaming those around him (he would have been justified in that!!), rather than disconnecting himself from people, he subverts all of these IN THE SHAME. Despite of the shame he is going through, he exhibits courage to go through it, he shows compassion on himself and those around him and he connects with people (even whilst on the cross).

Courage, compassion, and connection. All of these are the enemy of shame. Shame cannot win when these things are present. Does it mean that I will never experience shame again? No. Does it mean that Jesus has shown me the way through it to victory? Yes, it does.

In order to show courage, compassion and connection, it means I have to get vulnerable. I have to face my feelings. I have to let go of my need to beat myself up and blame everyone else for how I feel (own my story) and I have to connect with others. That means empathy. That means TELLING my story. That means being genuinely, authentically, humanly, ME.

That is scary. But it is Jesus who calls me and says, ‘Take courage, it is I. Do not be afraid.’ (Mat 14:27) Jesus is calling me through shame – that oh, so human condition – into a greater humanity. A genuine humanity. A Jesus humanity.